Tuesday, November 7th is Election Day (duh). And your friendly neighborhood Drrrty Election guide is here to help.
I live in New York. Democrats will win anyway. Why should I vote?
It's not just about voting for Hillary and Eliot. It's about voting for your local Representative. Find out who your Representative is, who they're running against, and what they want to do for you by entering your ZIP (needs all 9 digits; just look at some mail) at this nonpartisan voters guide site.
I can't find my cell phone, keys, or virginity. How am I supposed to find my polling station, where I vote?
Nice and easy.
You think we'll win?
Yup. My prediction (based on keeping up with the polls) is that we'll win 4 Senate seats and between 16-18 House seats. That prediction is in no way professional, statistical, or, based on my 2004 prediction, any reason to get excited.
But that polling site says the Dems will with more than your prediction.
Yeah, but you have to factor in Republican scandals.
You sound bitter.
I am. And that's even more reason to vote. The stronger a victory in New York, the stronger message we send to Washington. Let's do this.