happy halloweenie 

I'm the luckiest guy, on the lower east side 

'Cause I've got wheels and you wanna go for a ride.

We can play Magnetic Fields all day
If anyone wants to go somewhere that the MTA can't deliver on, lemme know, Exploration is in session. I've got an old 1967 Polariod so non digital instantgratification is covered. Uhm, we could take a paintball gun and shoot all lawn ornamentation we see. Can we sit next to a river and watch dam locks work? We'd need weed and a car for that, and i have both.


spooky sightings + a couple of treats 

1) Matt Lauer tucking his Halloweenie in a Paris Hilton get-up.
2) Lindsay Lohan singing about needing privacy all the while displaying her twins all too publicly.
3) Video-Mods, specifically Liesure Suit Larry covering "Ride with Me" Freaking scary.
4) Those aforementioned polls. And awkward hand movements. No more thumbs up, either of you.

So as not to be a downer:
1) Em saves some face in his "Mosh" video. No I haven't been watching too much MTV.
2) Okay I have. But their 20 Million Loud specials are fantastic - blantantly pro-Kerry.
3) Some famous pollster guy on the Daily Show predicts a burning Bush.
4) I can breathe out of both sides of my nose!

i can't stand looking at that electoral map that shows the red states, blue states & swing states anymore. it's killing me. 

on that note, films to see before you vote.


Guilted into posting... 

CNN) -- A California biotechnology company has started taking orders for a hypoallergenic cat for pet lovers prone to allergies.


Chocolate cats to follow!

i'm calling bullshit 

on all those people who claim to read this blog every day, but never comment or post.

this is your chance to redeem yourself.
no one wants to play to dead air(...ternet). it's boring and it sucks. i'm just sayin.


alright, who's having a baby so we can do this for halloween? 


it's a small world, but it'd be pretty tough to clean. - kohl norville 

this post is for me, bret, eric, serendipity and anyone who likes to hang out at the room:

i decided to drive my sweet touristmobile (hello sebring convertible) up the PCH (pacific coast highway) this afternoon and got about as far as the santa monica mountains (which p.s. are not in santa monica). stopped off to check out some lovely vistas and zuma beach (i prefer to call it zumi beach). and on the way home decided to pick a roadside bar in malibu at random to enjoy a beer and watch the sunset. so. i pull up (valet, of course) at this joint called duke's. i grab a beer and start walking around looking for a place to sit when out of nowhere... i run into thomas (from the room). thomas! (from the room!) no shit. and then, i join his crew at at the barefoot bar (outdoor patio) and start introducing myself around the table. and that's when i spy kohl (from kentucky) sitting directly across from me. kohl! (from kentucky!) the rest is too complicated to explain here. but suffice to say, they were in town to shoot a bison (which is only slightly different than a buffalo).


Here is my official get out the vote effort 



happy birthday 

you interpol cat sitter,


imagine the commercial breaks 

jon stewart went on CNN crossfire today and ripped them a new asshole. watch it here. it's about 10 minutes long but watch the whole thing, just trust me. the end is the best part.

UPDATE: if you can't get the video clip to work, well then your computer sucks ting tang, but you can at least read the transcript here. you'll have to scroll down a bit to get to the interview part.



Jacque is back
A-T-T-A-C-K, the leader of the pack
A-T-T-A-C-K, attack, attack, ATTACK!

ahem. glad you're back, jac attack!

Captain Caveman 

As long as Bin ladin doesn't show up riding shotgun in a Humvee in the next 17 days, I'm gonna feel pretty good about things come election day. Those 3 debates were basically 'George W. Wack-a-Mole' sessions for Kerry.

He took the sheen right off Brand 'W' with that schlacking.

I went from Bush-hater to pro-Kerry by the final debate.


i'm connected 

???5?ing pleasure...What happened to the go sitcom songs? Where have you gone Mr. Jones? These are a couple of my faves from yesteryears.

sitcom magic


litmus test 

in lieu of my normal debate night rant, i give you this ichat state of the union address - according to me & jac (& tom, of course.) we're concerned with the big issues.


new ipod with tazer! 

eric, you were sooo right.
it's coming it's coming.
(but i'm totally holding out for the 2nd gen)


does anyone know a lawyer i can meet with?
i just left my rep and am now with a new one,
and i need to meet with a lawyer as soon as
possible so i don't get screwed. my old rep is
an evil evil woman and is doing bad bad things
and i need to stop her. please email me if you
know a lawyer or you really like yours.


inspect er, gadgets 

they've got a play space in town too:

TKNY / compact impact


war is peace. freedom is slavery. ignorance is strength. 

sorry, i couldn't help myself. this is from an AP story regarding the new weapons report:

Vice President Dick Cheney asserted on Thursday that a finding by the chief U.S. weapons inspector in Iraq that Saddam Hussein's government produced no weapons of mass destruction after 1991 justifies rather than undermines President Bush's decision to go to war.

The report shows that "delay, defer, wait wasn't an option," Cheney told a town hall-style meeting.

While Democrats pointed to the new report by Charles Duelfer to bolster their case that invading Iraq was a mistake, Cheney focused on portions that were more favorable to the administration's case.

"The headlines all say no weapons of mass destruction stockpiled in Baghdad. We already knew that," Cheney said.

Vice presidential candidate John Edwards called Cheney's claim "amazing" and accused his Republican rival of using "convoluted logic."

"They are willing to say left is right and up is down," Edwards said while campaigning in Bayonne, N.J. "The vice president, Dick Cheney, and the president need to recognize that the Earth is actually round and that the sun is rising in the east."

bush just called it the internets 

that's right, plural.

a.k.a. pfleegerville 

hippity happity birthday
to eric p. !!!

voyeur's crack II 


gawk at other people's shit.


sell out machines 

yeah, so, like i said, the secret machines will never get big. unless of course you count the 2 dollar bill concert i saw on MTV last week, or the fact that they're the music in a promo for Jack + Bobby on the WB. what. the. fuck.


is anybody watching this? 

john edwards is rocking the shit out of penis head.




...and a little offensive. winning.


Bush's hometown is gonna smoke 'em out! 

Sure, you've read the headline's that Bush's home town newspaper, the Iconoclast, has endorsed John Kerry. But who would have known it was so well written and convincing? Up to 20 businesses in the area have pulled their advertising from the paper, but the Iconoclast hasn't changed it's decision, and even said "they'd do it again."

So support the Iconoclast by at least adding one extra hit on their website by reading their endorsement.



As of October 3 (Sunday), I will have been in New York City for one year. Sweet Jesus.

I've created and posted the transition to New York from Austin, through a slideshow of pictures complete with one sentence descriptions. It's quick, brief, doesn't waste too much of your time, and you'll be a better human being upon completion. Click here, and make sure you click the slideshow button. It also work better if you hit the stop button, and go to the next picture at your own leisure by clicking the forward button.

Here's what I'm hoping to accomplish in the next year:
-Reclaim my nickname, "Dirty".
-Two words. "Pearl necklaces".
-Save a tree. Kill a mugger.
-Wear more eyeliner.
-Post more blogs.
-Finish a movie.
-Finish a movie that isn't porn.
-Eat more vegetables.
-Eat more vegetables that isn't porn.
-Be more random.

The list will grow and change every day, as I see fit.

And I'm glad to have met you all this past year. Most of you. At least a few. Here's to many more!


we are all lazy bastards 

remind me again, why aren't we doing this?

new mexico. cleaner than regular mexico.
without ME, it's just AWESO
south korea's got seoul
nobody likes a vegetarian

unless, of course, hip/funny t-shirts aren't even hip/funny anymore - it has been like 10 years already for chrisssss sake. eric, what say you on this global issue? you have 2 minutes. watch for the blinking red light.

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